| Acknowledgments | i |
| Preface | iii |
| Table of Contents | xi |
| Living in Pennsylvania | 1 |
| Once upon a Time | 3 |
| Because God Made Thee Mine | 7 |
| B’reshit | 11 |
| Shell Beach | 17 |
| It’s a Wonderful Life | 23 |
| A Bathroom Without a View | 33 |
| Under the Bubble | 37 |
| The Winter of My Discontent | 43 |
| Vegetable Soup | 53 |
| Friendships | 59 |
| The Bad Guys | 63 |
| Fondest Memories | 67 |
| A Sad Goodbye | 73 |
| The World Almanac | 75 |
| Living in Massachusetts | 79 |
| Seagulls | 81 |
| 666 Walpole Street | 85 |
| Jurassic Park | 93 |
| Mill Village | 97 |
| Earl | 101 |
| Out of Ministry | 107 |
| Young Again | 109 |
| Grandma’s Homemade Chicken Soup | 113 |
| Finally | 117 |
| Now What! | 121 |
| Pastoring: What have I learned? | 125 |
| I’m One of the Best | 127 |
| No is a Good Word | 135 |
| Pulpit Etiquette | 139 |
| I Made Some Regrettable Decisions | 143 |
| The Church is Changing | 147 |
| Epilogue | 153 |
| Appendices | 159 |
| Appendix A: Tithing | 161 |
| Appendix B: In Defense of the Gospel | 167 |
| Appendix C: What is Christianity? | 171 |
| Appendix D: The Other Woman | 175 |
| Appendix E: Closing Defense | 179 |